I'm tired; my body is tired. But most of all, my mind is tired. I've been drifting off into a daze lately, thinking about what could be, or maybe what could have been. I'm still confused with where I want my life to be. Sometimes, when I'm off in a daze, I start thinking about what my life would be like if I continued going to the Art Institute. I have realized that I am quick to leave when things get tough. I start to think "well this is hard, what else could I do? What's something else I want because this isn't easy like I want it to be? [Haven't you heard of the saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"?] Yeah, well .. my version of that is "When the going gets tough, I get going." I know that's really an awful thing to say/do and that it will never get me anywhere in my life but I don't know how to cope with things that are hard for me. When I was younger, my mom did everything for me and when I got hurt, she'd kiss my booboos away. But now its like although she'll try her best to help me, it is ultimately going to have to be me trying, me mustering up the strength that my parents have built within me throughout my nineteen years, four months, and fifteen days of life to try harder and go where I want to go, be where I want to be, and do whatever i need/want to do. *sigh* All I can do is pray that God gives me the guidance I need to follow in the path that He has set for me.
later days.
-- janice.
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