I wish you were invisible ..

'cause when you're visible, I feel miserable.

I've been lacking sleep since friday the 9th. Ever since I've watched Paranormal Activity, I've been rather paranoid. I sleep a little, but only in the day time, and only when people are present. This obviously poses a slight problem since I have school during the daytime. -.- I know its just a movie. but ugh. Psychological Thrillers? Definitely not the business. It most certainly did its job though. Slasher films still scare me not gonna lie, but not as much as this movie. -.- I don't know. Hopefully, I'll get over it and get some sleep soon.

I'm not sure how I feel right now .. lost and insecure. mosdef. I'm at a loss for words when I try to describe how I feel. I'm not sure if you read this anymore .. but I'm going to write this to you anyway .. I'm hurting a lot more than I expected. I miss you, I wish things didn't end up the way they did. As much as I tell myself I shouldn't, I want you in my life and I want to be in your life. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Gravity.

"Am I supposed to be torn-apart, broken-hearted, in-a-corner crying? Pardon me if I don't show it."

It is now October 7th. Happy this-could-have-been-4-years Anniversary. Lol. hahahaha. whatevs. :]

So anyway, it's been a minute since I last wrote on this thing. To be honest, I just have nothing to write about. I haven't been doing anything really exciting since my last post. As of the past month and some odd days, I've been pretty busy with school. But, I know you're just dying to know what I've been doing so ... short recap:

- I went to IAG on August 27. I was right. I haven't been able to go again since then. It was nice seeing everybody though. :] I love them. every single one. I can't tell you what happened that night, because... well.. I don't remember. hahaha. :]

- Turns out I didn't have any money for Music Speaks. which I was bummed about. but maybe another time.

- I've become a lot more focused with piano. Right now, I'm learning to play Yanni - One Man's Dream. I've been wanting to learn this song for about 10 years now, I think. :] first page down, three more to go!

- uh.. I've gone on some dates...? lol Boys with braces are not cute. HAHAHA. well cute.. but not.. CUTE. nahmean? creeper. Uhm. some were good. others.. not so good. either way. whatever. lol..... interesting... very interesting ..

- I've been wayyyyy busy with school. mainly.. focusing on two of my classes.. which are 2D Design and Painting. I LOVE LOVE LOVE 2D design. its my favorite class so far... painting? not so much. I'm not really good at it. but 2D design? AMAZING. I find myself just doing my homework for fun. even though its not dueee. That says a lot about the class! hahaha. but we're going to start painting in that class starting next week .. not sure how I feel about that... I guess we'll see how it goes.

That is all. I'm tired. I should be sleeping. i have to study. D; i'll write more later.. perhaps.