For Lack of a Better Word [10] [day 3]

Somewhere down the line, you'll remember that I existed.. but I can only hope.

Day three was not easier. In fact, it was harder ... a lot harder. I haven't slept in almost a week [maybe bout 8 hours in the past 144 hours, or 6 days ]. Anxiety and depression is most definitely taking the better of me. I think it's affecting me in every way possible; as far as family, friends, relationships, church, and school. Today, I really didn't feel like doing anything; I laid in bed from maybe 2am - 6am [of course, I didn't go to sleep ] and then I left for school. I arrived a little bit earlier than usual [I hate Tuesdays and Thursdays, because I have to leave at 6 to get parking for my class at 9 ]. I was contemplating whether or not to go home and bum it out, because I definitely did not want to be there. But I didn't want to miss class today because I've missed a class already; so I went to class. This proved to be a dumb idea, because even my teacher noticed that I wasn't my usual self. We stepped outside, and he asked me if I was okay. Of course, I gave the usual response. "Oh, yeah I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired today." He gave me a sketchy look, and in his British accent replied, "Okay, but if you need to go home it would be quite alright." I should have taken that hint to go home, but I didn't; I toughed it out and stayed. As soon as class ended I rushed home, feeling really sick. I bummed around the house a little, and around 5 I laid in bed. I was supposed to be reading; actually, I was supposed to be reading all week, but do you know how many pages I've gotten done? None. I'm lacking motivation now. Anyway, emotions got the better of me and I started crying till about 6pm, and then I actually fell asleep; I didn't wake up till about 11pm. and now I'm here writing this stupid thing that no one reads, but I still write in hopes that you're reading this. and this is the only way I can talk to you.. If you're not reading this then .. well .. I'm dumb [ I think I'm a little pathetic, or maybe a lotta bit ]. I'm here, but mentally I am somewhere else .. err.. I don't feel like writing anymore ... bye..

Unrequited Love ..