I want to scream out loud..
[ and not in a good way.. ]
Well, I still have some pent up emotions/feelings/thoughts, but I think they're different this time around. Things definitely happen for a reason. And although it is hard, I am okay with it. I think that I can say that I am finally content with myself [for the most part ] and what's going on. It's been a rough few weeks/months, but I've learned a lot about myself in the short amount of time; and I'd like to think that I have grown significantly in the last few weeks, and it is all because of .. well definitely not because of you.
It is 6:30am and I am not quite sure why I am writing this, or even why I am up at this time. I guess I cannot sleep, but I am not really that tired either. I kind of feel like working out [me? work out? hahah I know right? ]. lol but seriously, I really do. I need to change my life [ for the better ]. I am 20 years old and I am just beginning my life. I have realized that before I can be happy with someone else, I have to first be happy with myself. And you know what? I am ready. I'm ready to be happy, genuinely happy. No more quick fix happiness for me. I want to feel it, not just think it.
Actually, I am kind of happy already and its because of "you". I get excited whenever we talk, and I can't seem to wipe that cheesy smile off my face whenever "you" call. Especially when I get those random texts in the middle of the night from "you". :] I like this feeling; it's a good feeling. :] I've got the giggles. HAHA. so lame.
ANYWAY, last night I went on btv and Ron was on :] and he sang his song for me! It is such a good song [ although, I am not quite sure what it is called. But I call it the Mona Lisa ] hhah. It's cute. :] I love that kidd. real talk. I haven't seen him in such a long time, I miss him! gah!
I went to IAG Thursday night. It was fun. I have not been there in such a long time. And then afterwards, I went to have a late night dinner at 10pm with Mel, Karol and her friend Wayne, Conraddd, Deland, Melissa, some guy [I forget his name, ugh sorry. ] and my favorite, Bryan Keith! ♥. Amazing food. yum. :] and then afterwards we all walked to Yogurtland like a block away. And chilled forever. :] and walked back! The end! Amazing night. :] I have such talented friends!♥! lovee you all. :]]]
ONE MORE WEEK OF SCHOOL! YEE. and not at the same time. I need more time hahaha. but that means. 2 more tests for political science! 1 more final for History! 1 more final for Human Sexuality! and 2 more drawing sessions for Life Drawing! yee. Surprisingly I am not as stressed as I usually am. :] GOOD NEWS FOR ME. :] HURRAY. AHHA
BTW TINA LAM. If you are reading this... I FREAKIN MISS YOUR FACE AND YOU NEED TO CALL ME. ASAP. k? go!
Later Days.
PEACE OUT CUB SCOUT. :] ..\\ // live long and prosper. janiceOUT. HAH :] love that movie. OKAY BYEEE.
PS. I miss you Randolphin!♥
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