Nostalgic, most def. [14]

Something's Got To Give.


Okay, so I have to write this as quick as I can because I'm falling asleep so here it goes:

I never really know how I feel. Well, that's a lie; I'm on a roller coaster ride of emotions and have been that way for a few weeks on end now [I'm just not sure how to express them ]. I am most definitely confused about everything that has been going on, but I've learned how to keep my "brave face" on at all times [whether or not that is a good thing, I am not quite sure]. One thing I have realized in the past few weeks is that I am definitely stronger than I thought I was but I am also not as strong as I would like to be [for me, it's an ongoing process and I am, for sure, working at it everyday a little at a time].

I have [for the longest time] put a lot of blame, for a lot of things in my life, on myself. And you know what? I am most def tired of doing that. I need to learn that a lot of things are not my fault; although [don't get me wrong] somethings, I admit, are in fact my fault. But for the things that are not, I think that I am ready to take the burden of blame off my shoulders and place it on someone else's, the rightful owner of this blame, shoulder.

At this very moment, I am filled with so many pent up emotions/feelings right now that I may very well explode; but my brave face is on and I cannot, I will not let myself fall short.

Alright. Well, I can no longer keep my eyes open for very long, so this blog will be updated later today.

P.S. Randolph Permejo, I miss you.