the storm is coming through; it rolls in from the sea. My love, a beacon in the night; my words will be your light, to carry you to me. Is love alive?
It's like 5:16am ish. I can't seem to sleep, although I did sleep for about 2 hours 1- 3am [just my luck to wake up at 3am, right? ]. I had a weird dream about my brother and his girlfriend, and some other odd people. It was just weird. I guess it was from watching Law & Order: SVU before going to bed, which btw I am watching right now [I love Eliott Stabler, mos def]. ;]
Anyway, I feel like I am at a crossroads at this point in my life. A friend asked me recently what I was going to school for. Like usual, I told him Graphic Design. And the next obvious question was, "Oh, for what?" My point exactly. For what? I really don't know. For a lot of things I guess. I kind of don't want to limit myself to only being a Graphic Designer. I want to be a creative director, a marketer, advertiser, stylist. I even want to open my own clothing line. The limits are endless, really. I mean I know I can be anything I want to be, but I guess I don't know how to get there. I guess you can say that I'm scared of my future. Shoot, I haven't gone to see my school counselor in over a year. I'm scared of discussing my future and finding out that maybe my desired career path is not realistic. I don't know. I guess another reason why I haven't seen my counselor is because well.. I'm not the greatest student. I don't get straight A's and I sometimes drop classes. I know, it sounds horrible and it is. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty pathetic at school. -.- I mean I try my hardest, but sometimes my hardest is not good enough. but who hasn't dealt with that. ...
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well I wrote that last night, but I'll try again. I still feel the same way. I mean my feelings and thoughts would not change after a day, right? Right.
Do you honestly think that I'm an idiot or something? You think that you can "hide" it from me. You act like you're protecting me. You are a selfish jerk. To go about things the way you've been going about them. You act like you're this amazing person, but you're not. You are a jerk. Ugh, I get nauseous just ugh. moving on.
On a good note, I had a good day today. or rather yesterday! :] I went to IAG again! :] Ray sang a cover of Gabe Bondoc's "Gentlemen Don't" and dedicated it to me♥ LOVE YOU RAY OF SUNSHINE ;]]] and I got to see Loris! and of course some amazingggg others. :]. I also got to meet some pretty amazing people as well. They were the type of people that make you feel good when you see them, even if you've only just met them! awesome. :] I had fun. Laughed a lot a lot tonight. Felt good, I needed it. ;] anyway.. I'm watching Law & Order: SVU again so I'm leaving, bye. :]
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