To be quite honest, I'm not in a good mood today and only one person knows why. Well maybe two. I feel a little out of it today. A lot has been going on in my life as of late. I try to talk to people about it but usually I bottle it up. I know that's not a good thing to do, but it's the only way to deal with things sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on my own eggshells, waiting for some kind of explosion. I'm falling apart and I just need relief. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get relief.
I said that I would stop letting certain things affect my life, but I think it's gotten worse. School is being pushed aside because of these certain things. and I am not down with that. I remember once when I tried taking interest in something because it was something you enjoyed. And I talked about it to you, and you told me not to steal other people's ideas and call them my own. honestly? you're the one to talk. -.- It irks me so much when I see just how hypocritical you really are. Also, I wasn't claiming that they were MY ideas, I was simply stating things that I had read and thought they were interesting concepts. Sometimes I think you need to grow up [not saying that I don't need to.] Also, when I refer to someone on here by saying "you" it doesn't always mean you. In this case, it does mean you. Make sense? good.
Anyway, this weekend was eventful to say the least. My cousin got married on Saturday. They are such a cute couple, no joke. I only wish is that I were closer to her like I am with the rest of my cousins. Then after the wedding reception I left around 11:20pm, and went home and got ready to hang out with someone! :] He was visiting because his cousin also got married and I was fortunate enough to spend all night with him. It was a good night, for the most part. Even though I had to drive every where and back and I was trying to not be shy haha. thanks for making me feel more comfortable. Even with everything that happened, I'm glad I got to spend time with you. :] I just hope we get to hang out again soon.. and talk more.
...back to you, it always comes around, back to you.
I finally cut off the bracelet that I have been wearing for quite some time now. For those of you who don't know, this is a huge deal for me. To many of you a bracelet is just a mere material object; this is true, but what's also true is that this bracelet means a lot to me. It symbolizes a lot of things: a past relationship, the good/bad times, hurt, pain, love, happiness, a smile, a poem, a song, a kiss, a hug, holding hands, a night with him, a day with him, HIM. You. Three years, six months, one week, and one day of my life; our life. I'm not saying that I finally realized that this was it, that it's officially over. But to me, it means that I want to move on. I want to be happy again, truly happy. I'm not going to lie; I'm still hurt over it, but I'm ready for the pain to go away. I've been ready, but never enough to do something about it not until now. I'm no longer in love with you, I don't love you, I care for you immensely, but you're done running my life. "You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains" That's done; no more of that. I may have not been completely ready to take it off, but I needed it. I needed to take action and just do it. I need to move on. Completely & Whole-heartedly. I'm not going to wonder if you'll ever talk to me again. You can sit and wonder if I'll ever talk to you. I'm done.
-- Later Days.
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